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What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? The army. How can you recognise a French veteran? Sunburned armpits. Why are there so many tree-lined boulevards in France? Germans like to march in the shade. The French government announced after the London bombings that it had raised its terror alert level from Run to Hide. =========== The only two higher levels in France are Surrender and Collaborate. The rise in the alert level was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively disabling its military. ================= A long time ago, the British and French were at war. During one battle, the French captured an English major. They took the major to their headquarters and a French general began to question him. The French general asked: 'Why do you English officers all wear red coats? Don't you know the red material makes you easy targets for us to shoot?' In his debonair English way, the major informed the general that the reason English officers wear red coats is so that if they are shot, the blood won't show, and the men they are leading won't panic. And that is why from that day to now, all French army officers wear brown pants. ================= An officer in the U.S. Naval reserve was attending a conference of officers from the U.S. navy and the French navy. At a cocktail reception, he found himself in a small group that included personnel from both navies. A French admiral started complaining that whereas Europeans learned many languages, Americans learned only English. He then asked: 'Why is it that we have to speak English at these conferences rather than speak French?' Without hesitating, an American admiral replied: 'Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.' ================= In 1966, upon being told that Charles de Gaulle had taken France out of NATO and that all U.S. troops must be evacuated from French soil, President Lyndon Johnson told Secretary of State Dean Rusk: 'Ask him about the cemeteries, Dean!' So, at end of the meeting, Dean asked de Gaulle if his order to remove all U.S. troops from French soil also included the 60,000 plus soldiers buried in France from World War I and World War II. De Gaulle never answered. ================= Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1161642/As-France-rejoins-NATO-humorous-reminder-missed-them.html#ixzz28gdHjZUH

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