Monday, 8 October 2012 - What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up
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What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?
The army.
How can you recognise a French veteran?
Sunburned armpits.
Why are there so many tree-lined boulevards in France?
Germans like to march in the shade.
The French government announced after the London bombings that it had raised
its terror alert level from Run to Hide.
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The only two higher levels in France are Surrender and Collaborate. The rise
in the alert level was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed
France's white flag factory, effectively disabling its military.
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A long time ago, the British and French were at war. During one battle, the
French captured an English major. They took the major to their headquarters
and a French general began to question him.
The French general asked: 'Why do you English officers all wear red coats?
Don't you know the red material makes you easy targets for us to shoot?'
In his debonair English way, the major informed the general that the reason
English officers wear red coats is so that if they are shot, the blood won't
show, and the men they are leading won't panic.
And that is why from that day to now, all French army officers wear brown
pants.
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An officer in the U.S. Naval reserve was attending a conference of officers
from the U.S. navy and the French navy. At a cocktail reception, he found
himself in a small group that included personnel from both navies.
A French admiral started complaining that whereas Europeans learned many
languages, Americans learned only English. He then asked: 'Why is it that we
have to speak English at these conferences rather than speak French?'
Without hesitating, an American admiral replied: 'Maybe it's because the
Brits,
Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak
German.'
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In 1966, upon being told that Charles de Gaulle had taken France out of NATO
and that all U.S. troops must be evacuated from French soil, President
Lyndon Johnson told Secretary of State Dean Rusk: 'Ask him about the
cemeteries, Dean!'
So, at end of the meeting, Dean asked de Gaulle if his order to remove all
U.S. troops from French soil also included the 60,000 plus soldiers buried
in France from World War I and World War II. De Gaulle never answered.
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Read more:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1161642/As-France-rejoins-NATO-humorous-reminder-missed-them.html#ixzz28gdHjZUH