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Edition: U.S. Article Comments (0) Save Email Print Reprints Most Popular Most Shared UPDATE 3-Tiny tsunami hits small Japan island - NHK 27 Feb 2010 Wary Chileans sleep outside; quake affects millions 12:10am EST Massive earthquake hits Chile, 214 dead | Video 27 Feb 2010 Giant iceberg breaks off from Antarctic glacier 26 Feb 2010 Buffett: I goofed on Geico credit card 27 Feb 2010 UPDATE 3-Tiny tsunami hits small Japan island - NHK 27 Feb 2010 Giant iceberg breaks off from Antarctic glacier 26 Feb 2010 How to decline Facebook friends without offense 27 Feb 2010 For Apple suppliers, loose lips can sink contracts 17 Feb 2010 Tiny tsunami hits small Japan island: report 27 Feb 2010 SPECIAL REPORT Inside Apple's fortress of secrets Inside a walled city in South China and amid intense security, employees are provided with dormitories, canteens, recreation facilities, even banks, post offices and bakeries. The goal? Keep Apple's secrets. Full Article Apple's iPad e-book store to use DRM: report Mobile operators unite to fight Apple app store How to decline Facebook friends without offense Richard Baum NEW YORK Sat Feb 27, 2010 7:11pm EST Related News Facebook friend your boss? Americans say no Thu, Feb 25 2010 Facebook friend your boss? Americans say no Thu, Feb 25 2010 Facebook urged to act after memorial sites defaced Thu, Feb 25 2010 UPDATE 1-Facebook removes Microsoft banner ads from site Fri, Feb 5 2010 Facebook removes Microsoft banner ads from site Fri, Feb 5 2010 A screenshot from the facebook site is seen in this undated publicity photo. Credit: Reuters/Facebook/handout NEW YORK (Reuters) - A colleague I just met at work has invited me to be their friend on Facebook. I don't want to offend them, but nor do I want to share my candid photos and lousy Scrabble scores with someone I hardly know. Technology | Media Can I ignore their invite? "Can I be your friend?" might work as an ice-breaker among small children, but it's not a question you hear often between adults, at least not outside of Las Vegas. Friendship, it is generally understood, is a relationship that evolves through shared interests, common experiences and a primeval need to share your neighbor's power tools. Yet for many people, Facebook permits a return to the simplicity of the schoolyard. Rather than inviting someone to be our Facebook friend only after we've become friends in the real world, many of us are using Facebook as a short-cut around all that time-consuming relationship building. Why bother asking someone you've just met questions about their family, interests and ability to run a farm or aquarium, when you can simply send them a friend request and read the answers in your Facebook news feed? And so we think little of receiving friend requests after we meet someone for the first time at, say, a dinner party. If you like the person, perhaps because they brought an excellent bottle of wine to the party, then you can accept the request in the hope of further opportunities to sample the contents of their cellar. If you didn't get to taste the wine because they accidentally spilled the bottle over your brand new party dress, then etiquette experts would probably agree that you can decline the friend request, send them a dry-cleaning bill and humiliate them in a derisory posting to your real Facebook friends. In the workplace, however, the dynamic is very different. The consequences of offending someone by ignoring their friend request are greater with a colleague you see every day than with a careless dining companion you may never meet again. So why are people you work with increasingly offering to share their Facebook output? Joan Morris DiMicco, an IBM researcher who studies social software in the workplace, said it's partly because some people just don't anticipate the ramifications of sharing their personal life with colleagues. But it's also a function of the Facebook interface, which recommends other people for you to friend. "Once you've connected to one person you work with you get recommendations to connect to others that you work with," she said. Of course, many people don't have a problem with being Facebook friends with colleagues, especially those they know well. But for those who would rather keep their work and private lives separate, there are options other than ignoring an unwanted friend request. One is to accept the invitation and then use Facebook's privacy settings to limit the flow of information between you and your new "friend." To do this, you can create a "colleagues" list from the Friends menu and then add to it your new friend. Then navigate to the privacy settings and use the "Profile Information" section to control what information people on the "colleagues" list can see. An alternative, says workplace etiquette expert Barbara Pachter, is to suggest to the colleague that you connect instead on LinkedIn, a social network for professional relationships. "You can just go ahead and ask them to join you on LinkedIn and hope they forget they sent you a Facebook friend request," said Pachter, the author of New Rules @ Work. "Or you can say, Thanks for asking me. I'm keeping Facebook for my family and friends. I'm asking you to join me on my professional network instead.'" Pachter said that whatever you do, it's important not to offend your colleague -- and that's not just because politeness is good etiquette. "The person you offend might end up being your boss next year," she said. Got a question about the etiquette of email, social networks and other workplace technologies? Send them to richard.baum@reuters.com or via Twitter to @rbaum. (Editing by Belinda Goldsmith) Technology Media Add a Comment More from Reuters Financial reform compromise rebuffed in Senate WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Marathon negotiations in the U.S. Senate on financial regulatory reform were set to continue on Sunday with a renewed focus on financial consumer protections after key Republicans rejected a compromise offer from the banking committee chairman. Clinton faces Latin America test on Iran Chile quake halts refineries, copper mines Cuba says dead hunger striker was common criminal Security tightened in Bangkok after bank blasts Tsunami waves hit Russia, no damage reported » More Top News Saying "no" to Facebook friends "Can I be your friend?" is a good ice-breaker for small children, but what do you do with a colleague you hardly know who might be your boss someday? Full Article What Americans say about "friends" Facebook status says you're dumped Accountability urged for Facebook Lifestyle Vancouver 2010: Winter Games come to a close The Vancouver Games wind down with the final 11 gold medals up for grabs, highlighted by the men's hockey final between U.S. and Canada. Full Coverage Winter Olympic notebook Live Coverage: Winter Games chat 2010 winter olympics © Copyright 2010 Thomson Reuters Editorial Editions: Africa Arabic Argentina Brazil Canada China France Germany India Italy Japan Latin America Mexico Russia Spain United Kingdom United States Reuters Contact Us Advertise With Us Help Journalism Handbook Archive Site Index Video Index Analyst Research Mobile Newsletters RSS Podcasts Widgets Your View Labs Thomson Reuters Copyright Disclaimer Privacy Professional Products Professional Products Support Financial Products About Thomson Reuters Careers Online Products Acquisitions Monthly Buyouts.com Buyouts Europe: Buyouts Conferences: Venture Capital Journal EVCJ International Financing Review International Securitisation Report Project Finance International PEhub.com PE Week Thomson Reuters is the world's largest international multimedia news agency, providing investing news, world news, business news, technology news, headline news, small business news, news alerts, personal finance, stock market, and mutual funds information available on Reuters.com, video, mobile, and interactive television platforms. Thomson Reuters journalists are subject to an Editorial Handbook which requires fair presentation and disclosure of relevant interests. NYSE and AMEX quotes delayed by at least 20 minutes. Nasdaq delayed by at least 15 minutes. For a complete list of exchanges and delays, please click here.

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