Forum Views ()
Forum Replies ()
Read more with google mobile :
Little boy's big legacy teaches others how to live
Yahoo!
My Yahoo!
Mail
More Yahoo! Services
Account Options
New User? Sign Up
Sign In
Help
Yahoo! Search
web search
Home
Singapore
Asia Pacific
World
Business
Entertainment
Sports
Technology
Africa
Europe
Latin America
Middle East
North America
Little boy's big legacy teaches others how to live
By LINDSEY TANNER,AP Medical Writer -
Friday, December 25
Send
IM Story
Print
CHICAGO – The disarming smile of a 4-year-old boy with a buzz cut brightens an otherwise drab newspaper page, where whole lives are summed up in three inches of tiny newsprint.
Danny Stanton's death notice first makes you wonder how he died. But the eight haunting, final words make you want to know how he lived: "Please go and enjoy your life. Danny did."
A preschooler wise beyond his years, Danny was a pint-sized neighborhood ambassador. He high-fived elderly strangers, made small talk with a lonely relative, befriended shy kids and impressed boys twice his size on the baseball field.
Most of all, says his grief-stricken dad, Mike Stanton, Danny was always giving hugs, and never hesitated to ask for one in return.
"That's just how he expressed his life, and how he gave it. How he just let you in was so beautiful," Stanton said.
So when Danny died of a seizure 14 days before Christmas _ after frantic attempts by his parents, neighbors, paramedics and doctors to revive him, after all the medical tubes were disconnected _ Danny's dad lay down on the hospital bed. And he tightly hugged his little boy in return, as his body grew colder and colder.
"I kind of lost track of time," Stanton said. "I could have laid there with him forever."
Gray-haired priests and policemen dabbed their eyes, and children wept along with adults at Danny's standing-room only funeral, where more than 300 people crowded into the same Roman Catholic church where he was baptized. They all gathered to honor a little boy who in four brief years seemed to instinctively know the essence of a life well-lived.
"There was this otherness about him," said Julie Marske, his preschool teacher. "It's like he knows something that we don't."
___
Every neighborhood has a house where all the kids gather. The Stanton's two-story brick house in Chicago's northwest corner is that one. With a basketball hoop out front, a wooden swing set in the back, there's always something going on at the Stanton's.
Family friend Mary Duffy says it's a place where they raise kids, not grass. The Stantons had four, ranging from age 8 to almost 2, all cherished in their own way, but none quite like their second youngest, Danny.
Danny loved sports _ soccer, kickball, football _ but was stunning at baseball. He was too young to join a league but eagerly filled in playing fast-pitch with 7-year-olds when they were down a man, and the big kids always welcomed him into their games.
Watching the smallest boy on the field hit and run the bases in a winning championship game this past summer, parents were awed by Danny's talent, which was advanced beyond his age. "Everyone just sat there thinking, what is going to become of this little boy?" Duffy said.
Danny was buddies with Mary's son, Charlie, the same age but extremely shy. During one of the regular kickball games outside the Stanton's home, Danny noticed Charlie on the sidelines, grabbed him by the hand and brought him into the house.
"Danny thought, 'Well, he doesn't want to play sports, here's all my action figures,' and laid them all out in front of him," Duffy recalled. "Danny created that environment for him. Danny figured it out."
His charity didn't end once he left the ball field, or a neighbor's yard. He seemed to sense when people around him needed a hand, even the grown-ups. Danny loved to help next-door neighbor Betty Lazzara carry in her groceries.
"I'd always try to give him a light bag," Betty said, "but Danny would say, 'I can carry that gallon of milk'" and would lug it into her house. He knew a treat from Lazzara's snack drawer would be waiting _ fruit roll-ups or Gushers were his favorites _ and Danny always asked to take home enough for his brothers and older sister, too.
He remembered details about the lives of people he met. He'd call out to the older neighbor across the street, "Hey Jim, are you going golfing today?" And when he'd see older men at the local YMCA, Danny would give them a smile and a high-five.
"You were good to go when he smiled at you," Lazzara said.
On his first day of preschool this fall, Danny folded his hands and told his teachers, "I just want to learn."
Preschool's most important lesson is how to socialize. Danny already had that down cold. He got along with all the kids and seemed to make the most of every day.
"You never had to entertain Danny. He was content being by himself, or with people," Marske said.
The preschoolers keep journals, dictating to the teachers about the topic of the day. Danny's last entry was about what he was thankful for at Thanksgiving. Other kids said, "food," or "Happy Meals." Danny talked about his family.
"I'm thankful for Mom, Dad, Tommy, John, Mary Grace. I'm thankful for my toys. My mom and dad help me when my brother tackles me."
___
The Friday night before Danny's fatal seizure, the Duffys were over with their two boys to watch a Christmas special on TV. Mary brought a big chocolate castle cake, and Danny and the other kids playfully tore off the towers to eat first, then ditched the TV special and clamored downstairs to build a fort in the basement.
There, they discovered a hidden bag full of unwrapped Christmas presents, including the one Danny wanted most of all.
Danny came upstairs, and with a twinkle in his eyes, playfully announced, "Hey Dad, I'm glad I'm getting that remote control car for Christmas."
The next morning, Danny was gone. His parents found him in bed, his lips already blue.
He'd had occasional seizures for two years, always at night, always while sleeping, always frightening. After the first one, he slept in his parents' bed for six months. Doctors did tests, put him on medication, found nothing else wrong and said he might outgrow the problem.
Seizures, electrical disturbances in the brain, affect roughly 1 percent of all children. Dr. Douglas Nordli, an epilepsy specialist at Chicago's Children's Memorial Hospital, said most otherwise healthy young children do outgrow them; deaths are extremely rare. Causes of these sudden, unexpected deaths are uncertain; it may be that brain signals for proper breathing get short-circuited, or the heart rate becomes too faint to get blood to vital organs.
"Danny's day-to-day behavior gave no indication of anything wrong with him," Mike Stanton said. "How many seizures did he have that we did not know about? We checked in on him thousands of times while he was sleeping."
___
Danny's death hit his little storefront preschool hard.
Each day, the teachers ask the class which students aren't there. "Danny Stanton," one student said. The teachers nodded, and added that Danny wouldn't be coming back.
That got the children's attention. Then came the words, "Danny died." As young brains struggled to process this news, one little girl said, "My cat died." Others asked, "Why?"
"We said because his heart stopped working," said teacher Deb Phillips.
His teachers asked each child to tell what was special about Danny. Some said they'd liked playing with him. Some said they liked to eat snacks with him. One child said, "I loved him."
Everyone's thoughts turned to the garden, a once trash-strewn vacant lot nearby that the school has been planning for a few years. It will be a place where the preschoolers can plant herbs and vegetables for homeless shelters; the first seeds are to be sown this spring. Now, plans are in the works for a big sign to post above the garden gate. The exact words aren't set yet, but Marske says perhaps it will read simply, "Danny's Garden."
"It will be this living place, where everyone can see" and remember Danny, Marske said.
There will be a place at the Stanton's Christmas table for Danny. And his family plans to start a foundation offering guidance for parents of children with night seizures. Its name will be "Danny Did."
It was his father who wrote those words on Danny's newspaper epitaph.
"It just came to me," Stanton said. "That says it all."
At their son's funeral, Mariann Stanton stood at the altar with her husband, a few feet from the small white casket. His friends left a soccer ball, football, baseball mitt and drawings in his honor. With haunting, palpable grief etched in her delicate face, she spoke to Danny through sobs, asking how she's supposed to get up in the morning when he isn't there anymore.
Father Kurt Boras told mourners there are no answers; "All we can do is hold onto each other," he said. Boras also said he's never been much of a hugger. But there he was after Mass, embracing people leaving the church.
"Danny got it right," the Rev. Gregory Sakowicz said in a eulogy. "He taught us how to live."
Recommend
Send
IM Story
Print
Related Articles
Bombings in Iraq kill 26 before Shiite rite AP - 57 minutes ago
Text of Obama's statement on health care bill AP - 1 hour 42 minutes ago
U.S. Senate passes landmark healthcare plan Reuters - 1 hour 50 minutes ago
Serbia probes 5 ex-police for war crimes AP - 2 hours 10 minutes ago
Grandma gave 3-year-old grandson pot cookie AP - 2 hours 20 minutes ago
News Search
Top Stories
US durable goods up 0.2%, led by computers
US jobless claims dip to 15-month low
Bethlehem fetes Christmas in the shadow of a wall
Greek parliament adopts 2010 crisis budget
British experts devise Christmas cracker formula
More Top Stories »
ADVERTISEMENT
Most Popular
Most Viewed
Most Recommended
Watchmaker 'stands with Tiger' amid new cheating reports
British priest defends urging people to shoplift
Parents in 'Balloon boy' hoax jailed
European travellers battle new Christmas chaos
US court orders treasure returned to Spain: culture ministry
More Most Viewed »
Tiger's wife Elin seeking divorce: reports
Century-old butter found in Scott's Antarctic hut
Virgin unveils spaceship to offer space tourism
Brazilian confesses to sticking needles into two-year-old
Tiger Woods' girlfriend apologizes in TV interview
More Most Recommended »
Elsewhere on Yahoo!
Financial news on Yahoo! Finance
Stars and latest movies
Best travel destinations
More on Yahoo! News
Home
Singapore
Asia Pacific
World
Business
Entertainment
Sports
Technology
Subscribe to our news feeds
Top StoriesMy Yahoo!RSS
» More news feeds | What are news feeds?
Also on Yahoo
Answers
Groups
Mail
Messenger
Mobile
Travel
Finance
Movies
Sports
Games
» All Yahoo! Services
Site Highlights
Singapore
Full Coverage
Most Popular
Asia Entertainment
Photos
Copyright © 2009 Yahoo! Southeast Asia Pte. Ltd. (Co. Reg. No. 199700735D). All Rights Reserved.
Terms of Service |
Privacy Policy |
Community |
Intellectual Property Rights Policy |
Help
Other News on Thursday, 24 December 2009 Captain of famed Exodus refugee ship dies at 86
Dutch teen sailor 'wanted to buy boat in Caribbean'
IMF approves $1.2 billion payment to Pakistan
|
Blackberry hit by another email disruption
Hamas leaders weigh Israeli draft on prisoner swap
Greek parliament to adopt 2010 crisis budget
Italy's Berlusconi 'pardons attacker'
UN extends mandate of Congo peacekeeping force
|
Colombia governor's murder draws wide condemnation
|
Police, protesters clash in southern Iran
Hamas to meet German mediator over prisoner swap
U.N. council sanctions Eritrea over Somali rebel aid
|
Turkish military breaks silence over new plot story
|
North Korea turns to air smuggling
Pakistan Taliban: Our fighters head to Afghan war
Mass. woman pleads not guilty in womb-cutting case
Diplomats shut out of Chinese dissident's trial
Taiwan policeman injured as protesters hound China envoy
Court orders Brazilian family to relinquish boy
Tibetan official Ngapoi Ngawang Jigme dies at 99
Warrant says NC woman's corpse hidden since June
Nepal's Maoists end protests at parliament
Japanese man charged with murdering British teacher
Balloon boy parents get jail time, tough probation
Karzai visits wounded Afghan policemen, soldiers
Philippine volcano rumbles, eruption seen soon
Major winter storm taking aim at West, Midwest
N.Korea's currency revaluation 'led by successor'
Judge rejects mandatory condoms on LA porn sets
AP NewsAlert
2 hurt in 3-alarm blaze at Las Vegas complex
Mother: Teen set on fire suffers from nightmares
Sandwich shop opens at tower rising at ground zero
Japanese whalers clash with militant activists
Pakistani o/n rates ease; rupee weaker, stocks down
China central bank says recovery still weak
James Cameron: China should let more movies in
Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins split: report
|
Susan Boyle blocks Alicia Keys from top of chart
|
Pakistan's Nishat to invest $60 mln in power plants
Report: China plans reserve for rare earths
Opera for the common man: La Boheme in a pub
|
Newcomer Ke$ha No. 1 on U.S. singles chart
|
British singer Winehouse charged with assault
|
Russian author Grigory Baklanov dies at 86
Cuba's Rolling Stones of salsa set for U.S. tour
|
British singer Winehouse charged with assault
Alicia Keys tops R&B chart with new album
|
French rocker Hallyday released from hospital
|
Bleak Christmas for many Samoans in tsunami's wake
Opera for the common man: "La Boheme" in a pub
Bollywood looks to Aamir Khan to end 2009 on a high
Taiwan's Chou, Lin enjoy action scenes
A sexy Dr. Watson? Jude Law says it's elementary
Torture is an internal problem for Afghanistan: Harper
British experts devise Christmas cracker formula
Iran's Ahmadinejad mocks Obama, TV series nuke talks
|
US-TECH Summary
Iran forces clash with cleric's mourners
European travellers battle new Christmas chaos
Apple to host product event in January: report
US court orders treasure returned to Spain: culture ministry
Iran's Ahmadinejad mocks Obama, "TV series" nuke talks
FTC looking into Google's AdMob acquisition
China sentences five more to death for Xinjiang riot
|
Bin Laden daughter hides in Saudi embassy in Iran
Spain's Telefonica buys Internet phone provider Jajah
Parents in 'Balloon boy' hoax jailed
Yemen says kills 30 al Qaeda militants in airstrike
|
U.S. criticizes Sudan referendum bill
On the move: Species face race against climate change
Blast in Pakistani city of Peshawar; 2 dead
|
Warner music videos, concerts coming to Hulu.com
Japan PM's ex-aide charged over funds scandal: report
|
Iran police clash with mourners, 50 arrested: reports
Facebook COO nominated to Disney board
Three dead, dozens missing in Philippine ferry collision
|
Israel not interested in peace: Syria's Assad
|
Apple to host product event in January: report
|
AP NewsAlert
Police: Explosion heard in NW Pakistan city
2 vessels collide in Philippines; 27 missing
Report: Japanese man charged in slaying of Briton
Grand jury: Shooting of unarmed IL man justified
Malaysia jet engines traced to Argentina: police
Brazil's Chief Justice Rules In Favor Of NJ Dad In Custody Case, Brazilian Family Gives Up
Taiwan man cons many posing as Brunei royal: report
US Senate votes on final passage of landmark health bill
Florida Man Pleads Guilty To Sex Tourism In Philippines
Australians evacuated as fires rage
Student Suspended For Dressing In Santa Suit
Daylong Va. post office standoff ends peacefully
Highly decorated Army colonel dies in Texas
China sentences five more to death for Xinjiang riot
Balloon Boy Dad Sentenced To 90 Days In Jail, Work Release
Irate Customer Destroys $1,000 In Perfume
NJ woman sentenced in Spanish child custody case
Philippine boat sinks, dozens missing: coastguard
Brookyln Girl Found Unconscious In Snow Likely Fell From Roof; Dead At Age 3
Colleague: Fla. pastor ignored advice on convert
One hurt, six detained in Taiwan scuffle over China
Former Soccer Coaches Enter Not Guilty Pleas To Charges Of Raping Players
Coroner: Sand Dunes death was from asphyxiation
Ford Announces Deal To Sell Volvo To China's Geely
U.S. Senate on verge of passing healthcare bill
President Obama And Family To Spend Christmas In Hawaii
15-month-old CA child OK after ingesting meth
Clergyman Cut Short Of Cash Prize
Wis. mother sentenced for helping dispose of body
Seoul shares end up 1.3 pct on techs, autos
Malaysia compromise on property gains tax: report
PAKISTAN
Hyundai marks strike-free year after union deal
Seoul shares end up 1.3 pct on techs, refiners
Gaza's Christians look to tunnels for scant holiday cheer
British skiers warned to go easy on Christmas cheer
Australian banks pay up in NZ tax avoidance cases
Redbox pulls grisly Brittany Murphy movie image
Fox to order more Idol -- with or without Cowell
|
Fox to order more "Idol" -- with or without Cowell
RPT-Korea Hot Stocks
Seoul shares rise; On Media jumps on CJ buyout news
NJ lawmakers ask MTV to cancel 'Jersey Shore'
Redbox pulls grisly Brittany Murphy movie image
|
US carriers, ANA seek approval for trans-Pacific venture
IMF approves $1.2 billion payment to Pakistan
Whiskey goes well with "Crazy Heart" Jeff Bridges
The secret comic-book origin of Sherlock Holmes
|
Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins split
Star Trek the most-pirated film of 2009
|
French rocker Hallyday released from hospital
Whiskey goes well with Crazy Heart Jeff Bridges
|
Newcomer Ke$ha No. 1 on U.S. singles chart
Cuba's Rolling Stones of salsa set for U.S. tour
|
Susan Boyle blocks Alicia Keys from top of chart
British singer Winehouse charged with assault
|
Iran police shoot dead 2 in melee during execution
Attacks kill at least 23 across Iraq
|
Memory chip shortage seen in H2 2010: DRAMeXchange
Bethlehem fetes Christmas in the shadow of a wall
Iran jails leading reformer for six years -report
Iran bans gatherings for dissident cleric: websites
|
Greek parliament adopts 2010 crisis budget
Threats, Ashoura bring blue Christmas in Iraq
Once at war, Russia and Georgia agree to open border
|
Israeli killed in West Bank shooting attack: report
|
Belgian-Israeli dual nationals sue Hamas
Kenya arrests two more for murder of Irish priest
|
China decries Western meddling in dissident trial
|
Turkish deputy PM airs doubt over assassination plot
|
Yemen says Fort Hood-linked imam may be dead
|
Turkish police round up Kurdish party members
|
Former Venezuelan president Caldera dies at age 94
|
Canadian soldier killed in Afghanistan
Clashes in India over delay in creating new state
U.S. says concerned with Kyrgyz journalist attacks
Pakistan Christians celebrate Christmas in fear
The nation's weather
Obama prepares for family holiday
Blast in Pakistani city of Peshawar
3 dead after Philippine sea collision; 24 missing
Memory chip shortage seen in H2 2010: DRAMeXchange
|
Boy in Brazil custody battle to be handed to US dad
Little boy's big legacy teaches others how to live
Battle against al-Qaida stepped up in Yemen
Filipino troops rush to move holdouts from volcano
Senate OKs health care measure, reaching milestone
India moves to tighten visa rules, causes confusion
Four dead in Philippine boat collision: coastguard
Pakistani stocks, rupee firm after IMF approval
TIMELINE-Taiwan's interest rate changes since 2001
Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins split after 23 years
Taiwan cbank keeps rates steady, seen on hold
Taiwan's current liquidity enough for growth -c.bank
Taiwan leaves rates at record low
Taiwan mulls allowing more Chinese investment
China to impose tariffs on chemical imports: govt
S.Korean bonds slip in thin trade, foreigners sell
Arab-Americans tweak Mideast tension for laughs
The secret comic-book origin of "Sherlock Holmes"
Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins split after 23 years
In Poland, Santa works year-round
"Star Trek" the most-pirated film of 2009
Greece at new risk of being pushed off euro
Bodies of missing Tenn. mom, Jo Ann Bain, and daughter found
Female Breasts Are Bigger Than Ever
AMD Trinity Accelerated Processing Units Now in Volume Production
The Avengers (2012 film), made the second biggest opening- and single-day gross of all-time
AMD to Start Production of piledriver
Ivy Bridge Quad-Core, Four-Thread Desktop CPUs
Islamists Protest Lady Gaga's Concert in Indonesia
Japan Successfully Broadcasts an 8K Signal Over the Air
ECB boosts loans to 1 trillion Euro to stop credit crunch
Egypt : Mohammed Morsi won with 52 percent
What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up
AMD Launches AMD Embedded R-Series APU Platform
Fed Should not Ignore Emerging Market Crisis
Fed casts shadow over India, emerging markets
Why are Chinese tourists so rude? A few insights